Sometimes the sexes just need to keep themselves in check; to the ladies: it's not always the guys' faults, and to the guys: no, you can't always blame her anger on PMS. We slight each other equally, so it's time to step back into our corners and cease fire for a second.
Big gestures: so romantic but so not standard protocol (oh but if they were!)
Today's lesson is inspired by an article I stumbled across on the Cosmo website: "Are Chick Flicks Wrecking Your Relationship?" I usually read these types of articles when I'm bored, but this actually seems to have some scientific backing (so you know it's good...hah):
Researchers from Heriot-Watt University in Scotland found in their study that romantic comedies can create unrealistic expectations for love and relationships — especially when it comes to communication. Turns out that chicks who love romance flicks are prone to mind-reader-itis: that is, they expect their guy to know what they want or how they’re feeling without having to tell them.www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/dating/romantic-comedy-love-life
Before I go on I have to say that I am an avid romantic comedy watcher just like most girls and women (and some guys) out there. No one could ever wrench me away from my Austen remakes - Colin Firth in Pride and Prejudice...hello!? And who doesn't bawl while watching The Notebook with their close guy friend nearby laughing at you while you're reaching for the tissues? (Yeah, that happened. Sorry Mikey).
People love feel-good, though predictable plots with good-looking people. It's a potent formula that Hollywood uses and it WORKS...but it could be warping our sense of reality when it comes to our relationships.
Gals, remain level-headed at all costs. Guys, take notice if your girlfriend is exhibiting one of the following symptoms of the "Rom-Com Trap:"
(based on www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/dating/romantic-comedy-love-life)
1) She thinks your relationship is "invincible." All relationships have their high moments and low points, and glossing over the difficult times could lead to an imbalance in your relationship. You could end up prolonging something that just isn't working OR worse, this could prevent you both from reconciling a problem that could keep your couple-dom genuine.
2) She's keeping score. Are you one of those girls who does nice things for your boyfriend expecting he'll reciprocate in an equal if not more romantic way? Do you think he's just downright ungrateful when he doesn't? Guys, do you come home only to find your girlfriend pissed at you for some unknown reason? Not good. So girls, don't do something nice for your guy only to hold it over his head later. And guys, don't forget to show your ladies your appreciation because no one likes to be taken for granted. It's important to make sure each party contributes equally to the relationship and gives of themselves with unselfish intentions. Keep the scorecards away and you'll both "win."
3) She thinks it's "written in the stars." Maybe you and Mr. Wonderful had an awfully adorable "meet-cute" right out of the movies. One possible scenario: you're at a party and a song comes on, and both of you scream "I love this song!" and lock eyes across the room. You may have some things in common that make you think "wow we are going to be together for the rest of our lives" but that may not necessarily be true, so be prepared. If this sounds like you: "I could NOT live without him! If we ever broke up I would absolutely diiieee!" then you need to take a second to reevaluate. Have you lost yourself in your own relationship? Guys, if your girlfriend makes these kinds of declarations, it may be time to create some boundaries, or break it off (a LAST resort).
Bottomline: keep open communication with each other and set realistic goals. Nothing is more romantic than being with someone who actually gets you and accepts you for who you are. Oh and those romantic comedies? They're for entertainment purposes ONLY!
You guys are for super serious this time, right?
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