Girlfriend Lessons: Green Means Go

With Valentine's Day behind us, some of us are still looking for love. Well, we all like to party, and nothing beats a theme party. The solution? Throw a "stop light party." The concept is simple: your relationship status is directly reflected in the color you choose to wear to one of these parties.

Red: In a relationship

Yellow: In an open relationship and looking to play

Green: Single and ready to mingle

In theory, this should allow the singles to find each other and allow guys and gals who are in relationships to ward off unwanted advances. 

But what if people bend the rules? Things to watch out for:

Mixing Colors

Wearing a Yellow Green shirt = "I'm single but I keep the old 'standbys' on deck. Maybe you could be one of them ;)"

Wearing all 3 colors at once =  "I like to keep them guessing"

Wearing a red shirt and green pants = "I may be taken, but you're invited to the party in my pants" = potential cheater or a "ball-and-chain relationship" victim. 

All participants wearing red = a couples dinner party. WARNING: Singles, prepare to be harassed about your love life and/or be the 11th wheel.

Keeping all 3 colors at hand = allows the wearer to switch colors as he/she encounters differing degrees of attractive people i.e. "I'd give this guy the green light, but I'm red lighting the creeper over there..."

Road Signs

In conjunction with the colors, some people may get clever and don accompanying road signs.

"No chance, buddy. Keep it zipped."

"I go both ways ;)"

"Psh sweetheart, please. Men are working here."

"Hmm...yeah you're not so much for me, but maybe that guy can help you out?"

"Girls nearing 30 need not apply" - Barney Stintson, How I Met Your Mother

"I like 'em young" 

Children Crossing = PEDOPHILE. 

This gal's looking for a GOOD time.

Hey, whatever works...

On the chest: "I got my boobs done"

On the nether regions: "I used to be a dude"

?!?!

(I don't wanna know...)

Now go throw your own stop light party, but be prepared...